Bunnies
by Kinoshita Kristanite
Summary: Duo recovers from cloud-watching with Heero. Heero remains a jackass. Quatre and Wufei are caught in the crossfire. The damned thing just won't die!
1. Bunnies

A/N: What can I say? Teachers and fathers are amusing. Also, Heero's eyebrow is a character, deal with it. First foray into Gundam Wing writing since it aired on TV. The characterization, ah, I can't forget it. I'm concerned about Duo's lines though: are they too casual, too formal? Did I succeed in conveying his Duo-ness at all? And Heero's one of those characters who hate me and want me to die. I hope I conveyed his sense of humor well? Mine's not nearly as dry as his, but I love that kind of humor and a lot of my friends are that way, so hopefully I was able to keep him dry enough.

Summary: Duo convinces Heero to watch the clouds with him. Heero remains a jackass.

DISCLAIM'R: Your grade's going to plummet into the unknown depths of hell. Do your math!

-hajimemashoo-

"C'mon Heero," Duo pleaded, hands on Heero's lap in paw-shaped gloves, whiskers and a black nose painted on, wearing a dog-eared headband crookedly. "Come cloud watching with me. Please?"

"Why," the man typing on his bed barely spared himself the room to talk around a swig of coffee, seemingly unconcerned with antics of the braided boy on the floor. "Should I?

"Because you need some air, man!" Duo whined, sitting back now that Heero was finally paying attention to him. "You'll suffocate if you stay in here for too long."

The Eyebrow popped up. "I seem to be breathing quite efficiently, despite having sat in the same spot for several hours, Duo."

"Yeah, but it's that recycled shit," Duo burst. "Your windows don't even open. Isn't that the least bit bothersome?"

Heero eyed the offending window suspiciously, as if it had grown any head at all. Perhaps a shrubbery. He then glanced, suspiciously, to the vent, which was much too small to contain the three headed man riding a donkey that his look suggested. He then turned to Duo, suspiciously, as if he were the missing three headed man riding the donkey.

Not that Duo was. Just that Heero thought he was.

This was how Heero and Duo ended up outside, in some random park, on some random lawn, Duo on his back and Heero sitting up, under the pretense of cloud watching.

"Oooh! A rocket ship!" Duo pointed to the thing in question gleefully, a shit-eating grin on his face.

"It's a rabbit." Heero protested vaguely, paying more attention to his hands than cloud watching.

Duo cocked his head to his right. "Huh. Well, yeah, if you squint. What about that one?" Duo pointed to something else with the enthusiasm of small-child-Duo in an adult entertainment shop. "It looks like a cock!" Duo laughed at his own joke.

"It's a rabbit." Heero insisted yet again, distractedly. He was quite busy with the task in his hands.

Duo glared at the boy to his right, then looked back at the rooster-shaped cloud he had pointed out. After a moment, he pointed at a different cloud at random. "What about that one?" He asked, staring heavily at the hacker still typing away at his laptop.

"A rabbit." Heero insisted a third time, staring stonily at his computer screen.

"You're not looking!" Duo cried. "The entire point of the exercise is to look at the clouds! And, you know, make up funny scenarios that the little kids on the swings shouldn't understand. You know. Creative stuff."

Heero stared weightily at Duo, looking up from his computer for the first time since they had left Heero's room. "All clouds look like bunnies."

"Tch—cha—chu—che—What the—?" Duo stuttered in his annoyance. "Where the hell did that come from?"

"That is the one constant in this world." Heero continued in his usual grave tone. "People live. People die. It doesn't change anything. Clouds still look like bunnies."

Duo stared at him. "For serious?"

"Am I ever not?" Heero, unfortunately, was smirking. He had just made that up, but come hell or high water he would stick with it.

Duo glared. "Do it for real. Once. Actually look at it and tell me it's a bunny. Then I'll leave you alone."

Heero dutifully looked to the cloud Duo indicated and blinked. Staring him right in the face was the most perfectly cloud-shaped cloud in existence, like something out of a first grade art teacher's cold nightmare. There was no way he could say the thing looked like any form of rabbit whatsoever without being maimed and tortured for weeks on end. "It's a bunny hiding behind a cloud."

-owarimashoo-

A/N: Heero's jack-assery is all my dad. This really happened to me in the car with him one day. Maybe next I'll incorporate his dream about his mechanic. Heero would have a random dream about a mechanic. And Duo would know the show…

I also need to write about my theory that Heero is a closet Hetalia fan. He finds America-kun amusing, and thing Germany-san is a good role model.


	2. Gunbunnies

Bunnies

A/N: Heero likes to play with me. I am quite surprised. He's taking me out to a rave on Thursday. You're all invite to come. Bring Your Own Glow Sticks.

Just wondering how many of you read these things.

DISCLAIM'R: DISCLAIM'D

Summary: Duo recovers from cloud-watching with Heero. Heero remains a jackass.

-hajimemashoo-

"I hate you."

"That's good." Heero returned quickly. He had decided that changes in scenery were in fact a good thing after his outing with Duo the other day, and was now in the kitchen, typing on his laptop. This was a good thing, because he was much closer to the coffee pot this way. "Might I inquire as to the particular reason that the fact must be brought to my attention this time?"

Wufei stared at Heero as though he had grown another head from across the table. Perhaps a shrubbery. Duo took it in stride, helping himself to a seat.

"Ever since you said that, I can't stop seeing them." Duo had the creepy 'bad horror movie voice' down to an art.

"Said what and seeing what?" Quatre asked from the refrigerator, pouring himself a glass of orange juice. Also, Quatre is not human: he drinks orange juice.

"Huh? Oh, hi, Q." Duo was distracted from his creepy 'bad horror movie voice' by the sudden realization that there were other people in the room. "He said that all clouds look like bunnies."

"The floppy-eared ones?" Quatre asked incredulously.

"Yeah, Q," Duo sighed. "The floppy-eared ones. No, the round eared bunnies!"

"Just asking," the blond muttered sheepishly. "Can't imagine Heero talking about bunnies."

"So now, every time I look at a cloud, I see bunnies! Lots of them!" Duo acted the part of the hysterical victim. "I can't stop seeing them!

"That's not a good sign." Heero muttered, still absorbed in whatever he'd been doing on his laptop.

"_What?_" Duo hissed, snapping back to the bearer of all things Bad News.

Just as Quatre was about to butter some soothing placation about Heero talking to his computer and really needing to get out more, the brunette answered. "When you're five years old, it's accepted, even encouraged, to see bunnies in the clouds." He ignored Wufei having a spasm over the fact that yes, Heero Yuy just said 'bunnies' without being on some sort of strong medication. "When you're fifteen, it might be time to switch to decaf."

"_What!?_" Duo's face was red with outrage. It was Heero who had done this to him, after all.

"If you start seeing fairies and unicorns, it's probably time to talk to a doctor," Heero continued his advice as if uninterrupted. "If you start seeing guns, you are advised that rubber rooms and straight jackets are expensive and necessary at this point."

"Uh, Heero?" Duo's face had paled considerably in the time it had taken for Quatre's glass of orange juice to shatter, pieces and juice oozing everywhere. His seat, to Heero's left and Wufei's right at the end of the table, looked straight out the window. "What if you start seeing clouds that look like guns with bunny ears, tails, and feet?"

Heero made a humming noise, as if seriously considering it. "Then you mustn't be allowed to breed." He nodded to himself, returning to his work.

"Oh." Duo swallowed nervously, tracking the offending cloud with an unblinking gaze. "Good thing I don't have a girlfriend."

-owarimashoo-

Duo gets the zinger this time. It's not that much of a zinger, but I think it's hilarious. This one's a lot more visual than the last one (not nearly as much fun with innuendoes), but I think it worked. Having Quatre and Wufei react was a lot of fun for me. Next time I need to remember to bring in Trowa somehow.

Again, after I posted the first fic, this happened to me... more or less. It was just dad and me in the car again.

Plunnies list: multiplying rabbits, Duo's Campfire Song Song, Hetalia, Heero Is Aware Of All Internet Traditions (Even The Really Really Old Ones), I wanna be xxx, vodka, Don't Wanna Be xxx, mall santas, shopping with Quatre, BYOGS, xxx in my pants, dream mechanic...

ARGGH! They multiply like rabbits! Uwaah. This is going to end up being a series, I know it. Oh well. As long as pwople like it.

Jaa mata, minnasan.


End file.
